2 Ways to Reduce Guilt
and 3 ways it's causing you mental suffering
Hey Y'all
Can I say “Y'all” now since I live in Texas?
I’m trying something new today, I’m reading this week’s letter for you!
I would love to know your thoughts:
Did you enjoy me reading it aloud?
Doesn’t matter either way?
Keep doing it?
I’ll put a poll at the bottom of the letter and you can vote!
Ok, let’s dive into Philo Fam 🤓
We’re on week 4 of our 5-week journey of discussing 5 forms of mental Chaos.
If you’re new to the weekly Philo letter and want to catch up here’s a recap of the previous 3 weeks:
Week 1: Chaos #1 - Negative Self-Talk
Week 2: Chaos #2 - Worrying
We all know what it's like to feel guilty.
That sick, twisted feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes from knowing you've done something wrong.
What many of us don't realize is that guilt can have a major impact on our mental health and well-being.
It can cause us severe mental suffering, especially, over time.
Whether it's because we've done something wrong or because we think we could have done better, guilt is universally an unpleasant emotion.
In this week’s letter, we're going to explore how guilt can cause mental suffering, what can trigger guilt, and what we can do to mitigate its effects.
Chaos #4 - Guilt
Guilt is a complex and multi-faceted emotion that can be difficult to understand.
At its core, guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for something that we have done wrong.
This can range from something as small as forgetting to do the dishes to something as major as cheating on a test, smoking pot, watching porn, {insert vice here}.
Guilt can also be divided into two different types: personal guilt and collective guilt.
Personal guilt is when we feel guilty for our actions, while collective guilt is when we feel guilty for the actions of a group or community that we are a part of.
Guilt is often seen as a negative emotion, but it can also be motivating.
Feeling guilty can also spur us to take action to make things right again.
Ultimately, understanding our guilt can help us become better people but it can also cause quite a bit of mental suffering.
3 Ways Guilt Causes Mental Suffering
By reminding us of our past mistakes
By robbing us of hope for the future
By preventing us from enjoying the present moment
Let’s break it down a bit.
The first way that guilt causes mental suffering is by reminding us of our past mistakes causing us to self-loath. See 8 ways to let go of the past.
These negative emotions can then spiral out of control, leading to anxiety and depression.
Additionally, when we dwell on our past mistakes, we may become afraid to take risks or try new things, as we worry that we’ll make another mistake and feel guilty once again.
Another way that guilt causes mental suffering is by preventing us from enjoying the present moment.
When we're consumed by guilty feelings, it's hard to focus on anything else.
We may have trouble sleeping, start avoiding social situations, and generally struggle to just get through the day.
This can lead to a host of other mental health problems, including fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating.
Lastly, guilt can cause mental suffering by robbing us of hope for the future.
If we believe that we are unworthy of happiness or love because of our past mistakes, it can become hard to envision a better future for ourselves.
We may give up on our goals and ambitions, leading to a feeling of hopelessness and despair.
Guilt typically manifests in the mind when unhappy with the decisions that we've made.
This becomes twofold when the choices we've made in the past end up hurting people we care about or people who have trusted us in some way.
It can end up taking up a lot of mental space in our minds when we can’t let go of our poor choices.
Instead of letting these poor decisions go and allowing them to become a learning experience, we can sometimes cling to these feelings out of guilt, or even shame.
This kind of clinging fuels a situation where the individual allows their self-worth to become tarnished and allows low self-esteem to develop.
Trigger #4 - Our Current Habits
It's interesting how our current habits can trigger guilt.
For example, if we're trying to eat healthily and slip up and eat something unhealthy, might feel guilty.
Or, if we're trying to save money and make a purchase that's not necessary, we might feel guilty.
In both cases, the guilty feeling is coming from the fact that we're not doing what were supposed to be doing.
And it's this feeling of not measuring up to our standards that can be very destructive.
It's important to be aware of how our current habits might be triggering guilt, and find ways to deal with that guilt in a constructive way.
Otherwise, it can create chaos in our life.
But it’s entirely natural to get stuck in our current ways, even if the circumstances don't make us particularly happy.
After all, we are creatures of habit.
Once we have found a comfortable way of doing things, it can be difficult to change.
The problem is that we often mistake this stability for happiness, when in fact it is simply comfort.
Even when we know that a different approach might be better for us, we often resist making the switch.
This is because change can be scary.
We become so used to our current situation that change seems impossible, even though it might be exactly what we need.
It can be difficult to let go of the familiar and venture into the unknown.
However, it’s important to remember that change is also an essential part of life.
Without it, we would never grow or learn new things.
If you feel as if you have an attitude that you can't change things because it's just the way it is, then this is a great place to start decluttering your mind and gaining mental clarity. See How to Organize Chaos.
It takes courage to break out of our comfort zone, and it can be incredibly rewarding.
If we want to improve our lives, we must be willing to embrace change.
It can be difficult to see past our current circumstances, but if we allow ourselves to be open to change, we may just find that it was worth the risk.
2 Ways to Reduce the Feelings of Guilt
Fortunately, there are ways to reduce the amount of guilt we feel in our life.
Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion means being kind and understanding towards yourself, even when you make mistakes.
It also means recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that you are not alone in your experiences.
My personal ethos is to share what I experience and help others realize they’re not alone by sharing their experience. To help recognize how much we have in common rather than in difference.
Practice forgiveness both for yourself and for others.
Forgiving yourself means letting go of the anger and resentment you feel towards yourself for your past mistakes.
It does not mean condoning your actions; rather, it means accepting that you are human and that you make mistakes just like everyone else does.
Forgiving others means releasing the anger and resentment we feel towards them for their past actions.
It does not mean forgetting what they did; rather, it means understanding that they to are human beings who make mistakes.
Acknowledging feelings of guilt and shame is crucial towards relinquishing our minds from the grasp of guilt.
Once we recognize these kinds of emotions in ourselves, we can then start to work on forgiving ourselves and forming a more positive relationship with our minds.
Action Items
Acknowledge your guilt. Denial will only make the problem worse
Accept responsibility for your role in the situation
Call/text somebody you love and tell them, it’s that simple
Make amends, if possible. This can help to restore your sense of balance and peace
TL;DR (too long didn’t read)
How to mitigate guilt & increase a positive mindset:
Practice self-compassion
Conclusion
By understanding and applying these techniques, you can reduce guilt and start to think more positively. This will have a ripple effect on all aspects of your life- from your personal relationships to your professional achievements.
Final Thoughts
May you be happy
May you be free from pain
May you be free from suffering
You are so loved.
It would mean the world to me If you shared this with someone you know that may benefit or even better if you copied this letter link and put it in your Instagram story or Facebook feed!
**See below - Philo assignment, past letters, and free workshops coming up*
Philo Assignment 📄
Where can you apply forgiveness for yourself and for others? Who can you call and remind them how much you appreciate them? Where can you volunteer your time and where can you apply more kindness?
Free Workshops 🧠
The SON™ 🕯
The SON™ Guided Prayer Meditation Candle - Comming Soon.
Thank you🙌🏻❤️