8 Ways to Let Go of The Past

face everything and rise

Nadeem Al-Hasan

Sep 10, 2022

Rise and Shine 🌞

We’re diving right into it today, my fellow lovers of learning. Let’s begin 🤓

2 weeks ago, I announced a 5-week journey that addresses 5 Forms of Mental Chaos.

We’re now on week 3 of our 5-week journey together in identifying 5 Forms of Mental Chaos.

If you want to catch up, you can do so here 👇

Week 1: Chaos #1 - Negative Self-Talk
Week 2: Chaos #2 - Worrying

This week we will be addressing FEAR.

I once read an acronym for fear, and it said:

False Evidence Appearing Real

But the acronym that resonates with me personally is:

Face Everything And Rise.

In order to do this, we first need to identify what triggers fear for us, and it’s likely different for everyone.

Chaos #3 - Fear

Fear is the strongest form of mental chaos.

It's the feeling we get when we're facing the unknown.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. ~Joseph Campbell~

Fear can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action.

It can wreak havoc on our lives if we let it take control.

It can make us doubt ourselves and our abilities.

It can make us second-guess our decisions and choices.

And it can even lead to mental and emotional breakdowns.

But fear doesn't have to control us.

We can develop a healthy respect for fear so that we don't let it rule our lives.

We can learn to control our fears by understanding them, identifying triggers, and learning how to deal with them.

Trigger #3 - Living in the Past

Sometimes the past is simply a reference point as we move through life.

However, this doesn't mean that we should allow the past to define our future.

When you focus on the past, it can seem like your inner demons shine brighter than they should.

We've all made mistakes, taken others for granted, and done things that we are not proud of.

When we focus on these negative aspects of our past, rather than the positive ones, we are more likely to be overly hard on ourselves.

If we can think of the past as being less defining than who we are today, it can lead to a less cluttered mind when making decisions.

It’s Time to Let Go of The Past

While the present can plague our minds when we have a lot on our plate, the past can take hold of our mental facilities when it comes to dealing with people around us.

It’s safe to say that we’ve all had bad things happen to us in the past that we wish we could forget.

Life can sometimes leave the emotional body with scars, and then it’s up to us to heal them in the best way we can.

Letting go of the past is important because when you can’t let go of the past, it dictates how we react to things in the future.

Trauma is not what happened in the past; it’s what stay’s with you from the past. So process, and work to let go.

Why Letting Go is Important

Say you were hurt by a friend in the past, and you feel as though they left an emotional mark on you.

Because of what happened, you don't feel as though you can trust anyone now.

This sense of distrust, while you believe it is protecting you from getting hurt again, is actually limiting your ability to form positive relationships with the people around you.

You continuously go back to the situation, and you can’t let go. In turn, this creates emotionally-driven mental chaos that dictates how you live your life.

See The Body Keeps the Score for how we are drawn to what’s familiar to us, even when harmful.

This is why letting go of the past is so important and recognizing this fact is the first step when you are looking to let go of what no longer serves you.

In this way, you can start to think about being able to let go of the past as a positive thing for yourself.

To this end, thinking about some of the following aspects should be able to help you deal with any issues about your past.

Releases You of a Burden

Carrying around the weight of something in that past that has hurt you can be incredibly tiring emotionally.

Forgiving these circumstances and letting go of the hurt caused by the situations, allows us to be able to strengthen our own psyche.

Releases You of Resentment

It is crucial that we understand that when we choose to let go of a hurtful past situation, it doesn’t mean that we have to mend the relationship with the person that hurt us.

We can forgive someone while being grounded in love, which means we draw the boundaries or choose not to accept them back into our space.

Instead, focus on letting go of the sadness, anger, and pain.

This will help us become a better version of ourselves, without having to focus on the other person.

Energy is energy, regardless if it’s positive or negative.

If you are sitting in sadness, anger, guilt, shame, and so on.

It is robbing you of your precious energy.

Forgiveness to Others Backed by Love

Many people who cause others pain often are hurting themselves.

There’s a saying, “hurt people, hurt people while healed people, heal people.”

If we recognize this fact and find it in our hearts to be a bit more compassionate to others who hurt us, it might be more accessible for us to let the past go.

Quite honestly, this is one of the biggest level-ups you could achieve in your relationship with yourself and others.

It’s the absolute most difficult skill to develop regarding personal development, in my opinion.

What made developing this skill easier for me was to literally imagine the hurt child within the offender.

You immediately become clear, more loving, and understanding.

What happens next is that our nervous system becomes calm, and the other person can feel this, inevitably making them regret their actions at the moment or later on.

Do not find joy in them regretting their action but have compassion.

After all, as Ram Dass would say, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

Requires You Forgiving Yourself

When we hold onto the past, there's a chance that we also blame ourselves for the circumstances that occurred.

Similar to finding compassion for the people who hurt us, it’s also essential to find compassion for ourselves.

Relationships are complex, and it is entirely possible that you could be the victim, as well as have some responsibility in the matter.

As mentioned before, all feelings require energy. Shame, guilt, and regret weigh so damn heavy.

Feel the emotion fully but don’t sit in it for long.

Breathe it in, and move it through you.

Stop Playing the Victim

We all know someone who has hurt us in the past, and that was their decision.

Similarly, if we are choosing to dwell on it, well, then that’s our choice.

To learn how to let go of the past, we have to recognize that we are making ourselves the victim.

Playing the victim is a sign of weakness and allows the person who caused us pain to have control over us in some manner.

Instead of continuing to play the victim, remind yourself that you are in the driver’s seat and don’t let your brain dwell on the negative thoughts of the past.

It’s YOUR choice.

Strengthen Your Mind with Positive Reinforcements

Once we’ve realized that we are in control and are starting to refocus our minds on the present, next, we work on our self-esteem.

This will make letting go of the past much more attainable as we are building confidence in ourselves.

When we dwell on an adverse event from the past often enough, our self-confidence has likely been negatively influenced.

To counteract this by-product of holding onto the past, repeat positive affirmations regularly.

YES, the voice matters. The voice inside your mind and the voice with which you speak aloud.

Both have a significant impact on your mental well-being.

Doing this will help to train your mind to see yourself as being worthy of success.

Say What You Feel

When we bottle up our emotions, the problems from the past that are making us angry and upset, won't simply disappear into thin air; but instead, they stay inside our minds taking up valuable mental space.

This results in us creating scenarios in our heads because we never expressed our displeasure with the person that caused us harm in the past.

Since we don't know what the outcome of the situation would have been if we simply stated our feeling at the moment, our mind starts to race with 'what if scenarios.

How many times have you played the “what if” game with yourself, my gosh stop torturing yourself!

“We suffer more often in imagination that in reality.” ~ Seneca

To get out of this habit of playing the 'what if' game, we have to force ourselves to become more open about what exactly we're feeling when we're feeling it.

Not only will this help you relieve your mind of anxious thoughts, but it will also allow you to be less resentful of situations and people.

Look to the Past for Positivity

Finally, if we want to let go of the past, then we have to reorient our relationship with it.

Rather than looking at the past and seeing the negative things that have led us to our current situation, look to the past and find the good things that have come from it.

Remind yourself of the good times that you had in the past and everything that it has brought with it, and allow your mind to clear out the negative aspect of your past.

Letting go of the past is the only way that we will ever be able to move forward and gain more mental clarity.

Holding onto the wrongs that have been done to us and the mistakes that we’ve made on our journey will only keep us from realizing our full potential and gaining the mental clarity we need to succeed.

Action Items

Release yourself from the burden
Release yourself of resentment
Forgive others grounded in love
Forgive yourself
Stop playing victim
Strengthen your mind wi the positive reinforcements
Say what you feel
Look to the past for positivity

Conclusion

If you're holding onto fear, it's time to let go. Fear is the mind-killer that stops us from taking risks and stepping into the unknown. The future is always uncertain, but if we don't take chances, we'll never know what could have been. Instead of living in fear, let go of the past and step into the unknown. Trust that you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way. And if you stumble along the way, remember that everyone makes mistakes – it's how we learn and grow. So take a deep breath, put your fears aside, and jump into the future with both feet. It might be scary at first, but I promise you won't regret it.

Final Thoughts

You are more powerful than you could possibly even fathom.

You have the ability to create anything in life you can imagine.

It all begins with the quality of our thoughts.

Face Everything And RISE.

You are so loved.

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