3 Ways to Overcome Inner-Conflict

it not them its YOU

In this week’s Saturday letter, you’ll discover what’s causing you inner conflict, how to create boundaries, and how to develop a deeper understanding of how YOU want to FEEL.

A teacher of mine once said:

“Stop taking on other people’s emotions.”

It’s not your responsibility, and it’s draining your energy.

Recognize when other people’s emotions affect you and how to manage them without letting them control you.

Taking the time to ground yourself daily and practicing self-care so that you can approach every situation with clarity and balance will pay dividends for your emotional well-being and physical health.

The journey to self-discovery is a difficult one, but one that can bring immense rewards during the process.

Start by challenging your own beliefs and assumptions, reflecting on how you want to feel in different situations, and understanding the motivations behind why you do or don’t take action.

The more clarity you have about yourself, the easier it is to make decisions that honor who you are while still honoring other people.

Finally, don’t forget to have compassion for yourself and others. People generally want the best for themselves and those around them, but it can be difficult to stay on track in a world of competing priorities.

Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes, and forgive yourself when you slip up so you can remain focused on the bigger picture.

Engaging with your inner world and cultivating insight into your psyche takes courage, discipline, and commitment, and it’s worth every bit of the struggle.

Don’t Get Cozy

Believe it or not, we’re in a comfort crisis…

Yes! We’re living incredibly comfortable lives in terms of the abundance of resources.

Food, entertainment, information, mind-numbing drugs etc.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING 🚨

You might be saying, “well, I’m struggling financially right now, and this is NOT comfortable.”

And to that, I say you are likely doing “your best,” but you’re not willing to do “whatever it takes” to get to where you want to be.

Unwilling to dedicate 1 - 2 (90-minute) windows daily to learning a new skill.

Unwilling to stick through the difficulty of learning something new and refining the process.

Unwilling to start small, but be consistent such as a 10-minute walk, a 10-minute meditation, not eating the cookie.

Unwilling to accept the fact that pain, frustration, and failure are a part of success.

I’ll lighten up a little later on, but right now, you need some tough love, and if you’re reading this, then it’s because you’re meant to receive it.

The Choice Is Yours

You can choose to be comfortable in our modern world OR you can choose to be uncomfortable with change, growth, and discomfort.

The only way out of this “stuck-ness” is to make a conscious choice to invest in yourself and do whatever it takes.

Start small, but be consistent. Start with something as simple as setting aside 10 minutes each day for reading or writing.

Build on that, and something bigger will emerge.

Keep at it no matter what obstacles arise.

You will get through this and come out on the other side with a new level of clarity, focus, and purpose.

Be patient with yourself, and remember that every small effort counts in the long run. With consistency and commitment, you can achieve anything!

Continue to nurture your growth by challenging yourself. Experiment with different activities that bring you joy and satisfaction.

Focus on making wise decisions that will benefit your future self.

Invest your time, energy, and resources in what matters most to you.

The path to growth is never a smooth one but don’t give up! There are always opportunities for learning and improvement along the way.

Just like the abundance of resources, there is undoubtedly an abundance of distraction, and booooooy does the brain like to be distracted, especially when trying to learn something new!

You’re brain struggles and fights new information because it craves the path of least resistance.

But it’s also a freaking supercomputer, regardless of your age or condition.

We all have the ability to learn. This is called “neuroplasticity.”

Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity, or brain plasticity, is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. It is when the brain is rewired to function in some way that differs from how it previously functioned.

Ok, so how do I get started, Nadeem?

In a moment, I’ll share three applicable and easy-to-implement tools you can begin today.

But first, you begin by understanding yourself better.

This can help create a more meaningful relationship with yourself and others, make better decisions, and clarify what truly matters to you.

So what do you want? better yet, how you want to FEEL.

Do you want more money? Most of us do, but I want to expand on why that false belief contributes to the inner conflict you’re experiencing.

It’s not all about what you want materialistically.

Most of us want money as if that all of a sudden will make our physical and emotional pain go away…

EHHHH WRONNNG!

Money cannot solve all of your problems.

While it may be able to provide temporary relief and settle your basic needs, it won’t solve deeper, underlying issues.

You have to address the root causes of your problems rather than trying to throw money.

Ok, yessss money can alleviate stress, but stress isn’t what’s causing the inner conflict.

Outside influences, such as social pressure, cultural expectations, or the demands of others, cause inner conflict.

Which in turn causes conflicting desires, values, and beliefs.

Remember, I shared earlier: “other people’s emotions are not your responsibility.”

This has been the most liberating statement I’ve ever accepted.

Some of you may be saying, oppph that’s cold, Nadeem…but take a minute and think about it…

You didn’t ask for this life? (not to be confused with being grateful to be alive).

But…

You have your OWN monkey on your back.

You have your OWN family to raise.

You have your OWN life to live.

So don’t give me your monkey because mine is heavy as f***.

This does NOT mean being apathetic.

It means I will not accept the energy you’re dealing with; I’ll witness it — support where needed. Then move on.

It means I’m creating boundaries because I have a f*** ton on my plate too.

But I’ll be glad to help point you in the right direction so that YOU can take ACTION on YOUR problems.

That’s what “other people’s emotions are not my responsibility” means.

Understanding Yourself and Setting Boundaries

Let’s explore how to go about engaging with your inner world to overcome inner conflict and create strong boundaries.

The Power of Reflection

Reflection or a self-inquiry practice is a powerful tool for checking in with yourself.

It involves taking the time to pause and take stock of where you are in life, think through your experiences and emotions, and consider what insights you can learn from them.

Reflection is crucial to self-awareness as it helps you clarify who you are and what matters most to you in life.

Taking regular moments throughout the day or week to reflect can help you stay grounded and centered even when life gets hectic.

Here’s a daily breathwork practice you can tap into whenever.

Journaling

Journaling is a valuable tool for reflecting on your inner world.

Oh great, another person is telling me to journal…ok, but are you actually doing it!

Stop fucking around and just start. If this triggers you, it’s because you’re not doing it and don't fully understand the value of organizing the chaos inside your mind.

When you write, don’t censor yourself or overthink it.

Just let the words flow and express your feelings, thoughts, ideas, and desires.

You can also use journaling to explore questions like:

• What am I grateful for?

• What do I need to focus on this week?

• How did my choices affect me?

Who cares if you don’t have proper grammar or punctuation? JUST WRITE.

Writing down thoughts, feelings, ideas, and experiences can be incredibly cathartic as it helps release any pent-up emotions or stresses lingering in the subconscious mind.

It gives you the opportunity to express yourself without fear of judgment or criticism, giving you a safe space to explore your innermost thoughts freely without fear of anyone else reading them (unless you choose to share them).

Mindful Meditation

Mindful meditation allows us to engage with our inner worlds.

“But Nadeem, I HATE sitting still. I just can’t do it”.

Ya, well, then this practice is 100% for you, lol.

Remember how I said we have an abundance of resources earlier?

There are MILLIONS of meditations completely free on YouTube, Spotify, and various apps for download made for beginners all the way up to 7-hour lectures.

There is no excuse. Find 10 minutes (or 30) in you’re “incredibly busy” day and commit to healing your mind.

Heal your mind > control your thoughts > control your thoughts > heal your body > heal your body > repattern your behaviors.

Practicing mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing exercises or body scan meditations can help you become more aware of your physical sensations and emotional states at that moment, helping you tune into what you’re feeling right now rather than ruminating over past events or worrying about future outcomes.

90% of what you’re worried about will never happen.

Mindful meditation (just like journaling) allows us to become more at peace within ourselves by accepting whatever emotions or thoughts arise without judgment, helping you build resilience against stressors that may arise later on down the line.

Here is how my personal practice looks.

1. Daily meditation on the Waking Up App.

2. Do nothing but observes the thoughts that arise.

3. Reflect on how I’m feeling.

4. Write down what I felt, what’s on my mind, and 1 thing I could do to improve by just 1%.

Because I know that 1% is better than 0%, and that’s ALL it takes DAILY.

That 1% could be:

• Reading 10 pages.

• A 10-minute walk.

• A second meditation before bed.

• Watching a lecture or something of interest vs Tiger King on Netflix.

• Fill in the blank on whatever you’re struggling with.

I’m going to leave it at that for this week’s letter.

I know I may have come off a bit more assertive than usual this week but hey, I’m human too and tough love is still love!

Final Thoughts

Truly I say to you.

We are all Kings amongst Kings and Queens amongst Queens.

Let’s act like we it and indulge in the available resources we have at our fingertips.

I love you.

It would mean the world to me If you shared this with someone you know that may benefit or even better if you copied this letter link and put it in your Instagram story or Facebook feed!

Nadeem Al-Hasan

Btw, have we met?

For those of you who are new here. My name is Nadeem, I’m a business consultant & brand strategist for 6 & 7-figure businesses, and I believe happiness is a skill, and skills can be developed.

I will teach you the exact frameworks and help you develop the skills that will allow you to turn inner conflict into inner peace.

This is a passionate subject because I suffered from so much inner conflict (and from time to time still do) living in a toxic environment, specifically in my work life.

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